Jokes

Hey fuckos: here's a joke for your stupid asses. I raped your mother with a 2x4. LOL.

Taking a Break

Be back in a few more days. Until then, go fuck yourself.

BIG BUTTER JESUS

LOL. Just LOL.

Old Nigs are Still Nigs

Faggot-Free Friday

Steven Tyler Fell, Can't Get Up

Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler, known in the geriatric community for dancing wildly with his microphone stand decorated with long, trailing scarves, fell off the stage during a performance at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota on Wednesday night

According to the Associated Press, he was airlifted to a hospital after tumbling backwards off the stage while wondring around in a confused and stuporous state during a break in “Love in an Elevator” to entertain the crowd when the sound system failed. Luckily he had a LifeAlert Bracelet on, and assistance arrived promptly.

Halfway through the performance, Tyler, 61, fell from the stage onto a couple of fans. He broke his hip, wrist, ankle, and is now feeling a bit cranky.

At the hospital he was served a nice meal of mashed 'nanas and prune juice, his usual favorites

Tyler attended Sturgis last year to promote his Dirico Wheelchair line, and was doing the same thing this year, and performing.

Diarrhea

It is never good to have water come out of your asshole. Along with sweating, cramps, nausea. this is punishment straight from Jesus, right into your asshole. The splatter-back from the shits hitting the water, onto your thighs and taint. And then the next round. The stench is enough to make you want to kill yourself. The only consolation is that the next unsuspecting sap who walks into the bathroom is going to hit a wall of shit-stank. Before you flush, take a good hard look in the bowl. You made this. You made this. You are disgusting.

Hungry?

Faggot-Free Friday

Here is a picture and words

I am writing words. Fuck shit dog-piss balls ass cunt dick. Laff. Laff. Words. Yeah, this is me trying, this is me trying. If you don't like it, send me an email or leave a comment. It's not like I'm getting paid for this shit.

Sarah Palin starring in "Fuck You to Death"

A cunt. Whore. Dumb Bitch. Useless Retard. I swear to Jesus Christmastime-Fuckface, that I would punch this bitch in the throat until I decapitated her. But first I would have to decorate her face in a nice warm bath of my jizz. She is a pretty hot MILF, but at the same time, she has the mental capacity of a sack of rotten chicken leg pieces. I'm torn between wanting to kill this dumb fuck, and want to fuck this dumb fuck. The only solution is to fuck her to death. It would be unmerciless and disgusting. After I used my mini-fist on all of her orifices, I would use a cheesegrater, an ice scraper, a 2-liter bottle of RC Cola, and finally a red-hot clothing iron. After that, I would snap a few photos and sell them for some quick cash, and use that money to fund an organization to hunt down all the dipshits who voted for her and Oldy Olderson, and soak them in gasoline, follwed by a match. Maybe I will win the Nobel peace prize, or possibly an Emmy. In the end, the world will truly be a better place.

Thanks!

Thanks for all of the page views everyone! (10,000+) I couldn't have done it without you. Now take that big black cock in your mouth, whore.

Fuck Your God, Your Lord, Your Christ

I Got's Me a Muthafuckin' Dream, Beeotch!

I gots a hard-on that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I gots a hard-on that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former niggers and the sons of former nigger owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I gots a hard-on that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of thuggin and justice.

I gots a hard-on that my four little niggers will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their koolaide but by the content of their wallets.

I gots a hard-on today!

I gots a hard-on that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little nigger boys and nigger girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I gots a hard-on today!

I gots a hard-on that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the big-dicked gangstas shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."²

Thuggin at last! Thuggin at last!

Thank Pimp Almighty, we be thuggin at last!

SMOKE.

SMOKE



ARE YA SMOKIN' YET??

Faggot-Free Friday

I'VE GOT A HARD-ON THE SIZE OF MONTANA

Chris Farley: You Fat Fuck

Chris Farley died because he was too fat and did coke. He looks like a beached whale with a fur coat. Here's you, here's me. Here's you, I'm dead. He had a piece of polish sausage lodged in his crack pipe. Maybe he didn't "fit the mold", or "wear clean underwear", or "care about his life enough to take care of himself". You know what, his career started going downhill after Hollywood Ninja, which was retarded. I'm glad he died. That way he couldn't make any more shitty-ass movies. Fat prick.

Retards Wanted in Couple's Murder

PENSACOLA, Fla. — The spokeswoman for the family of a slain wealthy Florida couple says the safe stolen from their home contained only helmets, drool cups, and shiny pieces of tinfoil.

Spokeswoman Crystal Spencer said Friday that she announced the contents of the safe to put to rest intense speculation and rumors about the Billings family. She did not elaborate.

Spencer's statement came just before Byrd and Melanie Billings' funeral. The couple was known for adopting 13 retards.


They were drooled on to death and a safe was taken from their nine-bedroom home west of Pensacola last week.

4 local retards are wanted for questioning in relation to this case. One other retard is being held for questioning. In an exclusive interview "Jimmy Duff" has been quoted as saying, "Duckies, blaaaaaaaa, de de de de dURRRRRRR ! plop."

Escambia County law enforcement said this week that robbery was a motive for the crime.

Faggot-Free Friday

Charles Nelson Reilly: Fag

Reilly did not publicly proclaim his faggotry until his one man show Save It for the Stage. However, much like fellow game-show regular Paul Lynde of the same era, Reilly played up a campy on-screen persona. In many episodes of Match Game, he would lampoon himself by briefly affecting a deep voice and the nickname "Chuck", and self-consciously describing how "butch" he was. He mentioned in a 2002 interview with Entertainment Tonight that he felt no need to note this and that he never purposefully hid his faggotry from anyone.

Patrick Hughes III, a set decorator and dresser, was Reilly's bitch; the two met backstage while Reilly was appearing on the game show Battlestars. They fucked each other in Beverly Hills.

On May 25, 2007, Reilly died at his home of complications from pneumonia. This is a euphemism for AIDS. Probably Super-AIDS

Tits

You're welcome.

US States

• Alabama - niggers and hilbillies
• Alaska - cold as fuck
• Arizona - hot as fuck
• Arkansas - Bill Clinton's fuck central
• California - hippies and mexicans - it stinks
• Colorado - mountains
• Connecticut - stuck up assholes
• Delaware - worst state - residents are robots
• District of Columbia - niggers and politicans
• Florida - mickey mouse
• Georgia - niggers and hilbillies
• Hawaii - best state
• Idaho - french fries
• Illinois - niggers and chicago
• Indiana - what the fuck is a hoosier??
• Iowa - corn
• Kansas - dorothy
• Kentucky - whiskey and hillbillies
• Louisiana - hot sauce
• Maine - lobsters and hippies
• Maryland - niggers
• Massachusetts - pricks
• Michigan - detroit (niggers)
• Minnesota - cold
• Mississippi - niggers and hillbillies
• Missouri - who gives a fuck
• Montana - nothing
• Nebraska - nothing
• Nevada - hookers
• New Hampshire - cold?
• New Jersey - guinea waps
• New Mexico - like old mexico, but with less history
• New York - assholes
• North Carolina - hicks
• North Dakota - injuns
• Ohio - fuckshits
• Oklahoma - boring
• Oregon - oregon trail game
• Pennsylvania - ben franklin was a pedophile
• Rhode Island - small, who cares
• South Carolina - hicks
• South Dakota - injuns
• Tennessee - memphis is niggers
• Texas - cowboys
• Utah mormons (morons)
• Vermont - hippies
• Virginia - hicks
• Washington - george
• West Virginia - hillbillies and thats it
• Wisconsin - chee
• Wyoming - nothing

brb, poop

Family Circle-Jerk

Anti-Semitism : Fun for the Whole Family

If you took all of the people in world, put them in a pot and boiled them, Jews would be the scum you couldn't get off of the bottom of the pot. Jews love to screw over non-Jews. Bernie Madoff comes to mind. "I HAVE A COUPON" says the millionaire Jew looking to save 20 cents on a tube of generic toothpaste. It must be hard to look down your nose at everyone, Jew, when your nose is bigger than most people's forearms. Be aware: thereare secret Jews everywhere. Some will claim they are not jewish, but you can tell the difference with these tips, the "7 Habits of Highly Jewish Jews":

1. They are homosexuals.

2. They insist on using coupons.

3. They have little bags of gold around their necks

4. Yamikas.

5. They say Oy Vey, and Verklempt.

6. They love Woody Allen Films.

7. They are lawyers.

Tuesday is Jew-Day

I HAZ A SPLITTING HEDACHE!

Sports

Sports are gay. People that watch sports are even gayer. A bunch of guys sitting around watching other guys get sweaty and touching each other. Balls. Pitch and Catching. Hot Dogs. Locker Rooms. The whole idea reeks of queer. On another note, sports mostly have blacks as players, epecially basketball. Magic Johnson: A basketball player with a magic johnson. So magical, that it will kill you if you fuck it. The only good thing about sports is that women are 3 times more likely to suffer a beating at the hands of a man during televised sports shows. Get your ass in that kitchen, make me a sammich, and shut the fuck up, you dumb cunt.

Lazy Sunday

LOL, HANG IN THERE !

Fuck America

4th of Jew-Lie. America is a piece of Jew-Nose garbage. Why didn't the terrorists finish the job? 9/11 should be a holiday, so we can celebrate what might have been. Next time, guys. Americans are fat, lazy, retarded, shit-stains. You have a nigger for president. LOL. Faggot loving, AIDS infected, ass-lickers.

Faggot-Free Friday

SICK!

Blacks: Be Thankful for Slavery

Hey nigros: I got news for you. If your ancestors were never slaves you would still be in Africa, chucking spears at each other. Yeah, in fact instead of getting reparations from white people, you should be paying us, for bringing you to this country. I think you owe each white person in America the cost of a boat ride from Africa to America, say $1000. Cough up blackies, payment is about 200 years late. Even the worst off blacks in America are better than most in Africa. I mean, look at those starving black kids in the commercials; I don't think they get food stamps. They just get AIDS and die. So blacks....From White America to You: You're Welcome

SO Hungry

Classic.

Tim Russert - Actual Death Footage

This film has recently surfaced.

Chamix - xxxx

laffs!!!!

BAD: A MJ TRIBUTE

These are the actual lyrics. If you realize that his songs are in fact directed towards little boys, then everything else falls into place. Looks at how gay they are. Also, SHAMON is a secret pedophile password. AND... a video production made by yours truly. Enjoy.




Your butt is mine
Gonna take you right
Just show your face
In broad daylight
Im telling you
On how I feel
Gonna hurt your mind
Dont shoot to kill
Come on,
Come on,
Lay it on me all right...

Im giving you
On count of three
To show your stuff
Or let it be . . .
Im telling you
Just watch your mouth
I know your game
What youre about

Well they say the skys the limit
And to me thats really true
But my friend you have seen nothing
Just wait til I get through . . .

Because Im bad, Im bad-come on
(bad bad-really, really bad)
You know Im bad, Im bad-you know it
(bad bad-really, really bad)
You know Im bad, Im bad-come on, you know
(bad bad-really, really bad)
And the whole world has to answer right now
Just to tell you once again,
Whos bad . . .

The word is out
Youre doin wrong
Gonna lock you up
Before too long,
Your lyin eyes
Gonna take you right
So listen up
Dont make a fight,
Your talk is cheap
Youre not a man
Youre throwin stones
To hide your hands

But they say the skys the limit
And to me thats really true
And my friends you have seen nothin
Just wait til I get through . . .

Chorus

We can change the world tomorrow
This could be a better place
If you dont like what Im sayin
Then wont you slap my face . . .

Chorus

Chorus

BILLY MAYS HERE: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!!!

I have nothing bad to say about this man. He is an even bigger dick than I am.

Jesus Christ: World's Biggest Queer

Here are some "facts" about Jesus from the Bible:

• He hung out with 12 dudes all of the time. Sounds like a big gay orgy in the desert.
• Forgave everyone. This guy had no balls, and was a big sissy.
• Kissed men. Enough said.
• Let himself get killed by Romans. It's like he's a goth-emo suicide boy looking for attention.
• Thought he was the son of God. That's retarded, not gay, but whatever.
• Has his own gay bondage tape. It's called "The Passion of the Christ".
• He actually died of AIDS.
• Why do you think they call it a "Glory" hole.

Faggot-Free Friday

Jacko : Ha Ha, You're Dead

Entertainer Michael Jackson has died after being taken to a hospital on Thursday after suffering a nasty case of Super-AIDS, according to multiple reports including the Los Angeles Times and the Associated Press. CNN has not confirmed his death.
Jackson, 50, had been in a coma at the hospital, sources told CNN.

Brian Oxman, a Jackson family attorney, said he was told by brother Randy Jackson that Michael Jackson collapsed at his home in west Los Angeles Thursday morning after shoving a newborn baby into his anus.

Family members were told of the situation and were either at the hospital or en route, Oxman said.

Fire Capt. Steve Ruda told CNN a 911 call came in from a west Los Angeles residence at 12:21 p.m.

Ruda said Jackson was treated and transferred to the NAMBLA headquarters.

Asked specifics of the patient's condition, he said he could not discuss them because it was too disgusting.

The music icon from Gary, Indiana, is known as the "King of Pop", and also as a "Faggot Child Molester"

Jackson is the seventh of nine children in a well-known musical family.

At the medical center, every entrance to the emergency room was blocked by security guards. Even hospital staffers were not permitted to enter. A few people stood inside the waiting area, some of them crying, but most of them laughing.

No Fat Chicks

Fat Bitches. N. O. Stop eating so much, and start excercising. No one wants to see your muffin top, your love handles, your disgusting fat jowls, and especially your cankles. Anorexia or bulemia is your best option. Get thin, quickly. Please. Run until you pass out, and go for weeks without eating until you look good. May I also recommed the A+ diet to you. You give me $1000, and I will GUARANTEE you will be thin. I handcuff you in my basement, to the treadmill, and you only get water until you are thin. The treadmill is on for 8 hours a day. This helps everyone, because now no one has to see your fat-body. Also I could light you on fire. But remember, grease fires are hard to put out.

Iran - Sit Down and Shut Up

Gimme a break, Iran. You're acting like you haven't lived under a 3rd world dictatorship for the last 30 years. Did you really think your votes mattered? No one gives a flying carpet-shit about you or your little protests. I watch the news just to get a glimpse of one of you backward-ass fucks getting the shit kicked out of you by a even more idiotic thug with a baton. Yeah, you should just give up. No one is on your side, everyone wants you to fail. You will never be released from your shackles, and history proves it. This is what happens when a weak race of people tries to govern itself. Fuck off and die, Iran.

Chamix- Majikal

aaa

Happy Father's Day!

Guess what, all you did was ejaculate into some bitch's cunt. Go fuck yourself.

Beating a Woman

Whoever said that men should not hit women, has obviously never had the good gaces to pummel the face of an unsuspecting female. The crunch of the face bones as your fist makes contact with her nose and teeth. You can see the droplets of blood splatter out her mouth as the spit and blood mix to form a frothy mixture of pinkish foam. And then comes the second hit. Wham! and a third and fourth, Wham! Wham!. All the while the adrenaline and testosterone is raging through your veins. You can't even feel your knuckles anymore, numb from the tightly balled fist. You grab her hair and hold her lifeless head up off the ground; with the other hand you are repeating pummelling of the mouth and chin, until your hands are sore. Soaked with blood. You can't even recognize her face anymore, but yet you cannot stop hitting. Next, your pants come off. This is what you've been waiting for. You are hard as a fucking rock. No fucking regrets.

Faggot-Free Friday

Job For A Cowboy. Bad Ass.

Chamix - Fuck YOU!

a clue? tqw1129181udjhdeb jd j827 nj2o

Old Fucks

I hate old people. I FUCKING HATE them. They can't hear shit, can't see shit, can't remember shit, contribute nothing to society. Plus, they stink, are slow, they suck at driving. They usually can be found in church praying for God to kill them, or sitting in their house, collecting cancer points. The best part about old people is that they will die soon. And they are easily tricked, such as taking their money, or they let you into their apartment and then you rape them. LOL! Fun for the whole family. Wow, old people sure do seem a lot like retards. The connection is that when you get old, you become retarded. The solution is to kill yourself before you get old. Also, kill yourself if you are retarded.

Uppity

Will Smith, Carlton Banks, Rosa Parks. What do all of these Black people have in common? They are considered uppity. What does uppity actually mean? Its a tricky thing to pin down, but I think it can be summed up by the following: Thinking that you are better than your lot in life. I don't think its a bad thing, neccessarily, but man is it sure annoying. I mean, get real blacks! White america will never share "whiteness" with you, even if you talk, dress and act like us. Why? Because blacks look too much like gorillas. The following picture is evidence.

Best of "Yo Mama" Jokes

Yo mama so stupid she failed a drug test.

Yo mama so ugly, her appearance frightens children.

Yo mama such a ho, I fucked her with a baseball bat. Anally.

Yo mama stank so bad, I shot her in the face.

Yo mama so fat, I poured gasoline on her when she was sleeping, and lit a match.  She melted into the mattress.

Yo mama so stupid, I came on her face and punched out her teeth.

Yo mama so fat, I locked her in a closet for 3 weeks.

Yo mama so black, she is a slave.

Chamix - Yay

Which kloo is 4 yu ?